Critique Day

I spent a few hours with my writing partner today! She lost her beloved mother two weeks ago and has been tangled up in family situations. I've missed her smile, her spark and her kind words. I've missed the gentle shove she gives me to keep me on track and writing. I've missed her sparkly eyes.

Today we had a warm hug, hibiscuses*, and salads at Mimi's Cafe. She opened my manuscript and cut to the bone, with love. "This section is perfect. This other stuff, it's not the same. It's okay, but it's not perfect like this section."

My novel is a story about a girl who joins the Army and on her way to report in for AIT, she gets caught up in a hostage situation. The backstory is layered in, between chapters, drawn from my own experience. My writing partner, who's also named Cindy, told me to open with the backstory.

Maybe the backstory IS the story? I've got some thinking to do.

Do I rewrite the first two chapters of hostage situation to make it more like the backstory? Do I cut the first two chapters? Do I toss the whole idea and just write a literary-type novel based on the backstory?

WWND? (What would Natalie do?)

Keep your hand moving . . .

Keep writing and the answer will come.

That's my answer?


~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

*like a mimosa, but with cranberry juice

The Things I Carry

With apologies to Tim O'Brien.


A Tumi purse, black, with a long, wide strap.
1- ugly lipstick
1- chapstick
8 - pennies (subject of a future entry: Take Pennies!)
9 - business cards I've collected in the previous 2 months
1- voided check made out to Lowe's for $1533.51 for flooring (They wouldn't take it because the phone line to the bank was down and they couldn't verify funds.)
2 - Uniball Vision Elite Blue/Black Bold Gel Pens
1- MaxPerks Card
1- Company Credit Card
1- Saxby's Coffee Club Card
1- 1965 Quarter (no state, just an eagle)
Various deposit receipts
Another Blue/Black Uniball pen
1 - Carousle Lollipop (Cinnamon) - Nope. scratch that one. I've unwrapped it....
2 - more Uniballs
Compact (Fair Ivory)
Kleenex Pocket Pak (Future entry: Spontaneous Tears)
1 - Immodium pill
Rewetting Drops for Contacts
Wallet
Grandson Photos
Hallmark Membership Rewards Card
Port-A-Subs Loyal Customer Rewards Program Card (2 years old - not too loyal)
OnStar Card
Cancelled Check from 22 June 86
1 - Funf Deutsche Mark note (1963)
1 - 2 dollar bill
Checkbook
A ton of cash ($47)
1 - .37 self-sticking stamp (American Flag)
1 - fetish in a leather bag
1 - ziplok baggie with 8 generic Ibuprofen
1 - MontBlanc Pen (Greta Garbo) w/carrying case


Gift Bag w/a Lutron Business Card stapled to the outside
2 - Books
Highlighter
3x5 notecards
Miscellaneous notes and pages I'm reworking
Blank scene worksheets
2 - Uniballs
1 - set of home/office keys
1 - car key
2 - bills to be mailed (no stamps!)
3 - Father's Day cards to be mailed (no stamps!)

Happy Birthday to Me!

46 years old today.

On the CD player: Like a Rock, by Bob Seeger.

Twenty years, now.
Where'd they go?
Twenty years, I don't know.
I sit and I wonder sometimes
Where they've gone.

Twenty years ago, I was
US Army veteran
divorced
dating an old friend from my Army days
graduating from Community College
living in Plaza Apartments in Sierra Vista, AZ
working for ManTech, developing training materials for the US Army
moving to Flagstaff, AZ to attend NAU
wearing braces
mother of three cats (Cookie, Esther and Lady M)
driving a 1985 Ford Escort I bought because her stripe matched my blue shoes
very blonde
in pretty good shape (running 5 miles a day)

Twenty Years Later, I am
US Army veteran
married
a college graduate
living in my own home in Las Vegas, NV
writing a novel
working for an architect
mother of two cats (Pumpkin and Jax) and a dog (Bailey)
driving a 2002 Cadillac STS
sorta dark blonde
eh....I walk the dog 3-4 miles a day

What a difference a coupla decades makes!!!


In twenty years I want to be
a US Army veteran
married
finished with grad school
living in one of many homes I own
a successful author
mother to many cats and dogs
driving something big and cushy and fast and cute
have hair and teeth
able to walk 3-4 miles a day

Abandoned Child

At the gas station on Sunday, a large white SUV pulled up to the pump behind me. When I finished pumping my gas, I walked around the front side of my car to get back in, when I saw no one around the vehicle behind me except for the child left alone inside. Oh, and the vehicle was running. I debated calling 911 to report the driver. How dare she/he walk away from their child? How is it possible to be so selfish that a person walks away, abandons their child? How is it that I am reluctant to call the authorities when I see this behavior?


I abandoned that child.